I was a very independent-minded strong-willed child. I couldn't wait to grow up so I could do things and have things the way I wanted. Then I got married.
Of course, it's not good to be a selfish, self-centered person. Being married certainly helps you to grow in unselfishness and in many other areas. But it is frustrating sometimes to always have to consider the likes and dislikes of your spouse, or how it will affect him or her, in making decisions.
If you are single, you can cook what you like for dinner or go to restaurants you like. When my husband and I were first married, he was very fussy about what he liked and didn't like. After cooking meal after meal that he didn't like, I finally sat down with him and compiled a list of the dinner choices he liked. It was very limited, but at least I was not cooking in vain.
When you are single you can furnish and decorate your home or apartment according to your taste. I always loved Colonial style in furnishings. My husband did not. So when we first went shopping to furnish our new apartment we walked through the store each pointing out what we liked until we came upon an item we could agree upon. Surprisingly, we did manage to furnish our apartment eventually.
There are many couples I would like to be closer friends with; perhaps have them over for dinner. But if my husband doesn't feel the same way (especially if he dislikes one of them) I can't pursue the friendship.
As a Christian, one of the most important advantages of being single is that you are free to attend the church you like. You are free to minister wherever the Holy Spirit leads you. When you are married, your response to the Holy Spirit is limited because your spouse has to be in agreement with how you think the Holy Spirit is leading you--or at least be willing to let you do those things you feel led to do that don't affect your life as a couple. For instance, if you think the Holy Spirit is asking you to go you go to Africa to minister and your spouse doesn't want to, you can't go. Or perhaps you have a heart for the poor, and want to tithe 10% of your income. But your spouse doesn't believe in tithing. Well, you can't tithe then.
Getting back to the secular level, when you're single you are free to plan your career according to what you would like to do. Perhaps you would like to move to another state or country. When you're married, you just can't pick up and move. Your life is tied up with another person and that person has to be in agreement with whatever changes you might like to make.
I know many single or divorced people. Sometimes I think they look with envy upon me because I have a husband. The grass is always greener on the other side. There are many advantages to being married and I think the majority of people are meant to be married. But there are disadvantages too. Those called to be single or those single by default would be more content if they kept that in mind.
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