Regarding the romantic relationships between men and women, the old saying was that "opposites attract." But current online dating sites or services, especially eHarmony, seem to focus on similarities between a man and a woman. So which is better for choosing a lifetime mate?
I think that when you are looking for a friend, you tend to be drawn to a person similar to yourself but when looking for a person to marry, you tend to be most attracted to your opposite. In my experience I have noticed that most people marry a person different than themselves. For instance: day people tend to marry night people; people who are always hot seem to marry someone who is always cold; extroverts tend to marry introverts; the loud, outgoing person tends to marry a quieter, more easygoing person. Think about your own marriage, those in your family and couples you know or have met during your life. Don't you find that to be true?
So if similarities help to insure compatibility in marriage, why do people tend to choose those with opposite characteristics? Doesn't that almost insure a stormy relationship? I think one of the answers may be that being married to someone with opposite personalities forces us to grow as a person.
We are all born selfish and self-centered. If we are disciplined and nurtured properly as children, we learn to come out of ourselves and think about others. I think marrying our opposite helps us to continue that journey into adulthood. We learn to compromise since we have to make mutual decisions. We all begin by thinking our way is the "right", the best or only way. Marriage to our opposite helps us to appreciate the God-given differences in people; that individual differences all make up the whole; that God made people different, with different gifts and talents, to accomplish different tasks. One is not right or wrong, just different.
To conclude, I think that this is one reason divorce is so pervasive in Western society. Many of us have stopped growing and maturing. We are still stuck in the self-centered stage of childhood. We are attracted to and fall in love with our opposite and then shortly afterward (when the glow of being newlyweds wears off) begin to try to get our spouse to be like us!
The answer is to learn to truly love your opposite. To appreciate their gifts and talents. To learn from them; to give, to change, to compromise. To bear with their faults as you would like them to bear with yours. To think of them, their needs and desires as well as your own. To desire their happiness. That's the secret to a happy marriage.
Tuesday, February 27, 2018
Friday, February 23, 2018
Love Is Not Enough
My youngest grandchild is almost three years old. It has been pure joy being with him and enjoying his growth and development. But recently he has begun to be defiant, saying "No" and ignoring the requests of his parents and grandparents. It's not all joy now to care for him. Often he needs to be disciplined.
He is a much-loved only child, also the only grandchild of his other grandparents. His mother and father love each other very much and have made a lovely home for him to grow up in. He wants for nothing. His parents are loving to him, but he is not spoiled.
So where does the rebellion come from? What does he need to rebel against? The answer lies in our human weakness; our inherent rebelliousness and self-centeredness. The Bible says, All men have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)
And this is why loving our children and grandchildren is not enough--they need discipline as well. And not just talking with them or trying to reason with them (children are not reasonable nor are they mature enough to be reasonable). They need consequences applied by a loving adult--negative experiences that occur as a result of their bad behavior to help them make the right choices. Parents and grandparents need to love a child enough to discipline them; just as God disciplines us. God's Word says:
At the time it is administered, all discipline seems a cause for grief and not for joy, but later it brings forth the fruit of peace and justice to those who are trained in its school. Hebrews 12:11
Scripture also says: Train a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not swerve from it. (Proverbs 22:6) If we put in the time and effort it takes to discipline our children and grandchildren now we will reap the reward of well-balanced, responsible adults when they are grown.
He is a much-loved only child, also the only grandchild of his other grandparents. His mother and father love each other very much and have made a lovely home for him to grow up in. He wants for nothing. His parents are loving to him, but he is not spoiled.
So where does the rebellion come from? What does he need to rebel against? The answer lies in our human weakness; our inherent rebelliousness and self-centeredness. The Bible says, All men have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)
And this is why loving our children and grandchildren is not enough--they need discipline as well. And not just talking with them or trying to reason with them (children are not reasonable nor are they mature enough to be reasonable). They need consequences applied by a loving adult--negative experiences that occur as a result of their bad behavior to help them make the right choices. Parents and grandparents need to love a child enough to discipline them; just as God disciplines us. God's Word says:
At the time it is administered, all discipline seems a cause for grief and not for joy, but later it brings forth the fruit of peace and justice to those who are trained in its school. Hebrews 12:11
Scripture also says: Train a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not swerve from it. (Proverbs 22:6) If we put in the time and effort it takes to discipline our children and grandchildren now we will reap the reward of well-balanced, responsible adults when they are grown.
Tuesday, February 6, 2018
The Fingerprints of God
The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the firmament proclaims His handiwork.
Day pours out the word to day,
and night to night imparts knowledge;
Not a word nor a discourse
whose voice is not heard;
Through all the earth their voice resounds,
and to the ends of the world, their message.
Psalm 19:1-5
God is not silent. He speaks to us in many ways. One of the most obvious ways is through the beauty, variety, and intricacies of nature.
Look at the stars, the moon, the sun, the other planets; the vastness of the universe beyond which man cannot see.
How many varieties of trees are there in the world? An online Reference website states: "The exact number of tree species in the world is undetermined because only a small percentage of plant or animal species have been discovered and classified."
How many varieties of fruits are there? The exact number is not known. It's estimated that there are approximately 400,000 types of flowers in the world; and 10,000 species of birds. But these are only scientific estimates; no one knows the exact number.
Each and every part of the natural world--trees, flowers, fruits, plants, birds, insects, etc.--point to a Creator beyond our human ability to comprehend.
I like calendars and purchase several each year to post in various rooms of my home. I always choose a few with pictures of nature especially birds, flowers and butterflies. When I look at each picture, I marvel at the intricacy and variety of God's design. Perhaps you would like to do the same. Or perhaps you prefer to view nature shows or online videos. It's a great reminder of who God is.
and the firmament proclaims His handiwork.
Day pours out the word to day,
and night to night imparts knowledge;
Not a word nor a discourse
whose voice is not heard;
Through all the earth their voice resounds,
and to the ends of the world, their message.
Psalm 19:1-5
God is not silent. He speaks to us in many ways. One of the most obvious ways is through the beauty, variety, and intricacies of nature.
Look at the stars, the moon, the sun, the other planets; the vastness of the universe beyond which man cannot see.
How many varieties of trees are there in the world? An online Reference website states: "The exact number of tree species in the world is undetermined because only a small percentage of plant or animal species have been discovered and classified."
How many varieties of fruits are there? The exact number is not known. It's estimated that there are approximately 400,000 types of flowers in the world; and 10,000 species of birds. But these are only scientific estimates; no one knows the exact number.
Each and every part of the natural world--trees, flowers, fruits, plants, birds, insects, etc.--point to a Creator beyond our human ability to comprehend.
I like calendars and purchase several each year to post in various rooms of my home. I always choose a few with pictures of nature especially birds, flowers and butterflies. When I look at each picture, I marvel at the intricacy and variety of God's design. Perhaps you would like to do the same. Or perhaps you prefer to view nature shows or online videos. It's a great reminder of who God is.
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