On Marriage

Marriage is more than just pro-creation; it is complementary. Men and women were created to complete each other, whether they have children or not.
  In the Book of Genesis it says:
The Lord God said: "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him."... So the Lord God cast a deep sleep on the man, and while he was asleep, he took out one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. The Lord God then built up into a woman the rib that he had taken from the man. When he brought her to the man, the man said: "This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; This one shall be called 'woman,' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken."  That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body. (Chapter 2:18-24)
  Although men can be very good friends with men, and women can be very good friends with other women, it's not the same kind of relationship as a man and a woman. And that's how God planned it.  God looked at everything He had made, and He found it very good. Genesis 1:31

Spiritual Works of Mercy: Counsel the Doubtful

To “counsel the doubtful” is to give a questioning person wise advice.

  We find this work of mercy throughout the New Testament, particularly in St. Paul’s epistles. Generally speaking, each of St. Paul’s letters is aimed at “counseling the doubtful,” for he gives sound wisdom and advice to Christians on the road to salvation.

  This corresponds to the basic definition of “counsel,” which usually means “giving instruction or advice to direct the judgment of another.” To “counsel” in the spiritual realm then refers to helping someone discern what is truth or what to do in a particular area.

  However, what makes this an even trickier situation is that the person receiving counsel is “doubtful.” This means that the person is uncertain about the truth and needs to be convinced that it is true before accepting it for their life.

  In the Epistle of Jude we are instructed to “Correct those who are confused; the others you must rescue, snatching them from the fire.” Jude 22.

  As in all ministries, we are given spiritual gifts, through the working of the Holy Spirit within us, to minister to others. We do not need a degree in theology or catechetics to counsel the doubtful. We all know that some of the most convincing people of faith have been the simplest individuals we’ve known. They just love God and their neighbor and try to live according to God’s commandments. We have all been given the gifts of wisdom, understanding and counsel at Confirmation. Therefore, we are all equipped to a certain degree to counsel the doubtful.

  Counseling the doubtful means not turning away from people’s questions, misgivings or fears. It means being a solid rock in the midst of the storms of others’ intellects, wills, and emotions that cause them to be “blown and tossed by the wind” (James 1:6).

  A caution here—when counseling anyone we need to be sure that the counsel we give is not just our opinion. As with all truth, what we think we know cannot contradict Scripture or the truth as revealed by the Catholic Church. If we’re not sure what Scripture or the Church teaches on a particular matter, we need to do some research before sharing what we think is true with another. If someone asks us a question and we’re not quite sure what the correct answer is, we need to be humble enough to admit that and tell the person we will research the topic and get back to them. Two excellent sources are the Catholic Catechism and Catholic Answers “20 Questions” series of booklets (available at shop.Catholic.com).

 To counsel the doubtful requires a tremendous amount of patience. If people are doubtful by nature, they may relapse, over and over—much to their own frustration and that of anyone trying to guide them. Constant wavering can be a real cross in talking with others.

  Some people are “doubting Thomases”. They will not believe anything they have not personally experienced. The most we can do for them is to present the evidence for the particular truth they are having trouble accepting, direct them to further resources, and then leave it to the Holy Spirit to convince them. I have found that many people will argue vehemently against a particular doctrine only to come to accept it sometime in the future. There are just some people who have a very rebellious spirit and take a long time to accept a particular truth.

 Counseling the doubtful can also mean, perhaps, enduring slings and arrows against us, God and the Church by those doubters who are wounded and lashing out. Instead of taking offense it’s better to be kind. Rebuffing them is pushing them further away from eventually accepting the truth. Sometimes we also may think we need to “defend” God from those who are doubtful, but God doesn’t need us to defend Him. Our job is to try to reflect God’s love and forbearance towards them.

  Counseling the doubtful is a Spiritual Work of Mercy we can all do when given the opportunity. Let us pray to be open to those opportunities.