On Separated or Divorced Couples

When dealing with your divorced and separated friends and relatives, remember that although it takes two to make a marriage, it only takes one to break a marriage.  Don’t take sides.  Your don’t really know who’s at fault. Even in cases of infidelity, you don't know whether the behavior of the other spouse may have contributed to or even caused the infidelity.

Jesus said: If you want to avoid judgment, stop passing judgment. Your verdict on others will be the verdict passed on you. Matthew 7:1-2

Stop judging by appearances... John 7:24

The Epistle of James says: There is but one Lawgiver and Judge, one who can save and destroy. Who then are you to judge your neighbor?  James 4:12

Couples who are separated or divorced need the advice of wise counsel, prayers and friendship. Although separation and divorce affect family relationships and friendships, this should never result in shunning or never speaking to a person again. Listen to the affected party, but don't agree with them or add fuel to their fire. Advice should only be given by a trained counselor or an older person who is spiritually mature.

The World Wants You Back

The world (the devil) wants you back.

It has been my experience that if you are a lukewarm Christian, or no Christian at all, the devil leaves you alone. But if you start coming closer to Christ, watch out! He will work overtime to get you back.

  But once you have become a committed Christian, the devil works more subtley and slowly, hoping to catch you off guard. Also, the temptations or distractions will not necessarily be the ones he used against you previously.

  St. Catherine of Sienna wrote what she said Jesus taught her about temptation:

The devil will take advantage of your blindness and put before you a banquet of his delights, colored to look like something that is good for you.

For each person he chooses what is most appealing to their principal weakness, and to each according to their station in life.

The devil will issue you an invitation to death disguised as life.

But "Greater is He who is in you, than He who is in the world." 1 John 4:4b

Note: For further insight on this subject, I recommend The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis

On Doing Good (when no one is watching)

We all know that if we do something wrong, even if no one sees us, God sees us.  But it is also true that if we do something good and no one sees us, or if we do something for another and they do not appreciate it, God sees us and rewards us in His own way.

  This thought has helped me many times when I felt unappreciated or when a sacrifice I made for someone else went unnoticed. Or when doing mundane tasks like cleaning the toilet or cleaning up after others (when there would be nothing to clean up if the others hadn't messed it!)

  Jesus said: Whenever you pray, go to your room, close your door, and pray to your Father in private. Then your Father, who sees what no man sees, will repay you.  Matthew 6:6

  St. Paul said: Whatever you do, work at it with your whole being. Do it for the Lord rather than for men, since you know full well you will receive an inheritance from Him as your reward.  Colossians 3:23-24