Spiritual Works of Mercy - Bear Wrongs Patiently

 Oh—this is a tough one. None of us likes to be mistreated or misunderstood. It’s difficult for all of us when people treat us unjustly; or lie or mislead others as to our character or what we have done or not done. How painful when people shun or reject us.

  When this happens to us (and it happens to all of us one time or another) it helps to remember that Jesus, who was perfectly holy, also had to endure unjust treatment by others. Although he only did good to others he was subjected to hatred, jealously, false witnesses, slander, rejection and was eventually crucified.

  God says we are to forgive others when they offend us. 

"'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord” (Rom 12:19). 

 If there is any justice that needs to be done, in this life or the next, the only One qualified to do it is the Lord, for He alone knows the secrets of all hearts. Therefore, we must never try to get back at, or punish anyone who has wronged us. That means "petty vengeance" as well, which includes the use of slander or gossip to get back at people for the evil they may have done to us.

  Instead, Jesus commands us to pray for our enemies. 

My command to you is: love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you.  Matthew 6:44 

St. Paul says: But “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; by doing this you will heap burning coals upon his head.” Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good.  Romans 12:20-21 

  However, forgiveness is probably the most misunderstood of all the works of mercy. It does NOT mean blindly letting oneself be victimized. You have a duty to protect yourself and your loved ones from harm. Forgiving our enemies does not mean passively subjecting ourselves to abuse or not defending ourselves. The duty to forgive our enemies is compatible with protecting ourselves from harm and demanding fair treatment from others, especially close family members. When people have harmed or offended us, we have a duty to let them know their behavior is offensive. This is also a work of mercy since a person should be made aware of the harm they are doing. Even if it doesn’t result in a change in their behavior, you will at least have made them aware of it. To “bear wrongs patiently” does not mean to let someone walk all over you.

  So—What do you do if someone continues their negative behavior. If possible, you can separate yourself from them. I don’t mean to shun them; just to avoid contact with them when possible. If it’s an extended family member that you have to socialize with from time to time, then avoid getting into conversations with them that might give them the opportunity to criticize you. One woman I know had to avoid almost all contact with her father because whenever they were together he would bring up the wrong things she did in the past that she had repented of.

  If it’s someone you live with, then it becomes even more difficult. You have to avoid getting into discussions or arguments that might give them the opportunity to abuse you. Pray for them and pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit as to how to live with them as peacefully as possible. Forgive, forgive, forgive. Jesus said we have to forgive “seventy times seven times” (Matthew 18:22) Remember the guidelines for love in 1 Corinthians 13—be patient and kind; don’t take offense; don’t harbor grudges or brood over injuries.

  To bear wrongs patiently is one of the most difficult things to do. So we must forgive ourselves when we fail, repent and ask Jesus for the same grace that enabled Him to bear the wrongs done to Him.